317 First Rule of Parenthood

This has been the week of Mean Mommy. No matter what I do, the kids end up screaming and crying ... and I end up not caring. Connor threw a fit because I closed the garage door. Katie cried for an hour because we had to throw away all her streptococcus filled make-up (even though we promised to replace it when she gets the all clear). Connor ran after me with his tiny hand raised, face turning red because I wouldn't let him stand on a chair and destroy the kitchen. Katie threw a fit because I made her go to bed ON TIME. My favorite though was when Katie cocked her hip, bobbled her head at me and tried to tell me that she could pick out whatever makeup she wanted and we couldn't tell her no.

Wait?!

WHAT??!!!

FIRST RULE OF PARENTHOOD, if the kid says they get to tell you what to do you immediately have to prove them wrong.

....And I did! I pulled out all the stops. I used the "You are the child and I am the parent" routine. It works like a charm to induce tears and low-pitched grumblings. I can only be positive I heard the words "meanie" and "not fair" but I am sure she maligned me quite well. If that girl has one thing it is teen angst. I don't know what we will do when she actually goes through puberty.

I know, it is all our fault. We have spoiled her rotten. When you spend every second of the day worried that something could go wrong and you could lose your child you tend to spoil. For the first 5 years of Katie's life we did that. I would put her to bed, and I would freak out if she cried ... maybe her blood sugar is spiking/dipping! What?! Who knows, it could have been anything! Or even worse, I would be scared shitless when she did NOT cry! I can't tell you how many times I climbed those stairs, mentally preparing myself to find her not breathing. And when she was a baby, we checked her blood sugar every two hours, so that was A LOT of trips up the stairs. We logged each morsel of food she put in her mouth. I timed breastfeeding sessions. When her sugar dipped we would force feed her juices and fruits and candy. And as she grew it didn't get much easier. She was more active. She would run around like a wild thing and burn sugar like nobody's business! And then, a miracle! A new form of diabetes was discovered, and we had her checked. And we had our answer to why her sugars were so hard to control. She was still producing insulin!! Her diagnosis changed our lives in many ways. Her blood sugar has been spectacular! She still has some highs and lows, but they are not as severe. Letting her out of my sight is not the terrifying experience it once was. I almost never climb the stairs in fear ...

BUT! It is hard to break the habit of trying to fulfill her every whim. Trying to do everything we can to make her happy. And throw on top of that, the addition of a little brother. A lot of the time we are trying to make sure she does not feel jealous. In no way do we ever want her to feel she comes in second ... but we need to also teach her that doesn't mean she comes first.

We have been lucky. We have a boy and a girl. We can qualify statements. I can say "You are the cutest GIRL ever!" or "Connor is the sweetest baby BOY ever!" and for now that works. I know it won't always, but I am holding onto it while I can. If it will earn me one less Mean Mommy point then I will qualify every statement I make for the rest of my life. If I fail at everything else in this life then I will know that the one thing I did the very best was to be a Mommy to Katie and Connor.

.... at least if I let Katie pick out the makeup she wants ....

316 WAZZUP!

...................Yeah, I am not feeling it either.

I am in a slump. You know how I can tell? I haven't picked up my camera to just take a picture of something fun in days! DAYS I TELL YA!! If you know me, then you know this is a sure sign of BLAH! Yeah, that is a medical term.

And you know, there really isn't much to write about....

Katie has really mastered her bike FAST! Last week, training wheels. Today she called her friend Mia to come ride with her. These pictures are from Sunday, and she has improved so much! As soon as she overcame her fear of falling she was off like a shot.

Amd of course, Connor was chasing her down. Yes, he is still in pajamas ... don't judge me! And Daddy got a little bit of a jog in while he chased her around, so it worked out for everyone.

The girls had a sudden urge to make bracelets. I could not find my box of beads, but I did find a bag of buttons. I grabbed a spool of wire and cut them a few pieces, and I created a stop with a single button, and there were off. Katie and Mia each made a bracelet, but I only got a shot of Katie's. I think it turned out ADORABLE!!And it also gives me a little addition to Love Thursday! I did not even realize there was a heart shaped button on here, but I had to shrink the size of the picture, and there it was. Plain as day. I needed that little reminder that love is there. The reminder that love can be unexpected. Love can be hidden. So, let me urge you GO AND LOOK FOR IT! Love is everywhere. Even at those moments when that seems the least true I get little reminders thrown my way.

I know it is a little late (or it is right now, although I started writing this hours ago) but stop by Chookooloonks to check out more Love Thursday posts and pics. Leave some comment love and make someones day (especially mine)!

My brain is tired and I am going to stumble off to bed. My mojo will find me soon. I hope ...

315 Wild Goose Chase

I went searching through old pics last night, looking for one single pic of one single thing that I had no clue of when it occurred. Yeah, it was a long search. Once I started looking I couldn't give up without finding the picture, so I was stuck. An hour or so in I had looked at just about every picture I have taken in the last 7 and a half years. Most of them (99.2% to be exact) are of my kids. But, there are a few of me ... there are even a few of me as I tried to lose weight. Hell no I am not putting them on here! I was just pointing out that there have been failed attempts before. To be more precise, everytime I have gotten back into shape that even approached my pre-Katie body I have gotten pregnant.

So yeah, that would be twice.

Between Katie and Connor we had another miscarriage. I continued to eat as though I were eating for two. As you can guess, that was not a great thing for my body. It was even worse for my mind. About the time our baby would have been due I finally clued into what I was doing to my body. I made changes, tried to exercise more and eat a little better. I was right there, almost back to that pre-Katie weight when I found out I was pregnant with Connor. Best thing ever for my heart and mind, but my body took a beating. Although, if I do say so myself, I was an adorable prego with Connor (I look like crap carrying a girl though). Then whamo! Connor was here, almost six weeks early. It took 2weeks of back and forth to the hospital to get him strong enough to come home. And then, as I mentioned before, it was the holiday eating season. Add to that, I was no longer working, so no longer walking and walking and walking. Oh the fat spiral just widens and widens!

So ... after that ramble here is what I wanted to share. Update on working out. I have been running almost everyday, and each day it is getting a bit easier. I know this falls under the category of Too Much Information (TMI) for a lot of people, but I can feel the changes as my body starts to firm and tone. I catch myself rubbing my hand over my tush or my thigh muscle where it starts above my knee. Oh, don't get me wrong ... it doesn't LOOK that good, but it is getting there. I have a LONG way to go to get anywhere near the body I want. Strangely enough, one of the biggest changes has been through my torso. The back fat (yeah, there was some) was the first to go. And thank goodness because that is really what pushed me over the edge! BACK FAT! Oh the horror!! I can put up with A LOT, but when I reached back to scratch my back and got a handful (don't throw up now people) it was done! Sadly, we have reached the point where the fat is turning to muscle. I say sadly because that means there is no actual weight loss, muscle weighing more than fat and all.

Just for posterity I am going to try to do weekly updates here. I will put my workout chart at the bottom, just for the giggles. And yeah, I have no clue how many laps on my track make a mile. It is bigger than a high school track, but I am not sure by how much (and totally off the subject, I miss my high school track with its squishy goodness!). I will set my pedometer up and walk out a mile, and then I will be able to keep better track of it.

Monday ---hour run/walk

Tuesday ---Hubby was golfing, no run for me

Wednesday --- 45 minutes on the track

Thursday --- 30 minutes, hard to run with hubby and kid meeting you on every lap

Friday --- 1 hour doin' the walk/jog

Saturday ---40 minutes on the track

Sunday ---Started breaking in the "new" Bowflex!

... and yes, I did find that picture I was looking for. March 2007, looked in that folder twice :)

cross-posted at The Biggest Twatter blog!

314 Learning to Fly

Yeah ... the kids? they did stuff and things. Sadly it is all the same stuff and things that they do every single week. They are starting to get really repetitive, and I am going to have to start talking about myself soon. You really don't want that to happen. I might have to start issuing warnings at the top of the post if I talk about myself.

..... at least that is what I started to write this morning. Of course, I can never actually finish anything in one sitting. I must jump up and down and bow to the whims of the little ones. In this case it actually worked out pretty well. Katie and Daddy decided it was time to FINALLY take the training wheels off the bike. We had the broken arm setback of 2008, and Katie has seemed content to ride her scooter ... until today. She all the sudden decided that she wanted to ride her bike in the last few days. Not that I am complaining! So, Daddy aired up the tires and took off those training wheels and they headed out. Daddy held onto her shoulders as she tried to keep her balance. For him, he was very patient.
Yes Mom ... I know, get her hair out of her eyes! I've got it covered for the next try :)

And you know Katie's biggest fan was there!

Daddy was even able to let go a few times .... for a few moments.

Yeah, seee that storm drain?? See the direction that Katie is headed? Oh yeah, she did.

And she scared herself a little. She tried a few more times, but she never totally got it. We will try again tomorrow. We would have tried again today but a certain little girl said she wanted to wait (and then of course changed her mind 30 minutes later). Too bad for her Mommy is tired of being at the mercy of a 7 year old. Times they are a changin'! If she can try to ride a bike without training wheels then I can learn to stand my ground. That midget doesn't scare me!

313 Blame It On The Time Change!

I don't know why, but EVERYONE I have talked to is having the same problem. We are all in a pissy mood, or the ones we love are in bad moods. We are snapping over the smallest things. It has to be the time change. We feel like there isn't enough time in the day when it is pitch black by 6pm. The stress levels rise! Its not as though we felt there was enough time in the day to start with, and now it is so much worse. And the kids ... ACK!! Tempers are at the boiling point and something has got to give!! Please tell me that I am not the only one seeing this??

It hasn't helped around here that we all have strep ... AGAIN! Katie missed almost an entire week of school last week. Not to mention what the antibiotics are doing to Connor's poor tushy.

The only thing that is keeping me sane this week is escaping to the track for an hour while Connor takes his nap. No one freak out and call child services! Chip is in the house the entire time, and while he may not provide the level of care to which my kids have become accustomed he can certainly sit on his butt and be an adult(ish type person). WHAT?! I told you I was in a pissy mood!! Okay, so now that is all settled here is what I really wanted to say ... I am ENJOYING working out. I am loving being able to get out in the sun and fresh air. I can't wait for my escape from these walls! Maybe that will be the true motivating factor to me working out. MY SANITY!! Lose the FAT, Keep the SANITY! And I have been doing pretty good. I missed Tuesday (as far as I can remember, but my memory sucks so I might have been out there) and I missed today, but other than that I have been hitting the track. I was all dressed and ready to go today when Katie asked me to stay inside. I can't turn down my girl, right?? We had to do some make-up work for school anyway, but I would have really loved to ESCAPE!!! Katie did come through for me though. I had decided to do some sit-ups and push ups, but when she walked into the room asking what I was doing I thought I would get her involved. Great idea, right?! WRONG!! Now Katie is the Leg Press Nazi! Oh sure, first it started out with 20 ... and she left. But she came back three minutes later and made me do 30 ... and then she wanted me to do 40! I am going to have some strong thighs! Or I would if the poor bugger would put on some weight.

Just as an update ... I have lost 11 pounds. Okay ... FINE!! So that is mainly because I moved the scale away from the wall. I will take it though! I am already 11 pounds closer to my goal of ... yeah, I ain't telling you my goal. My goal is not a number anyway. My goal is a fit body and SANITY. And, when I reach that goal I will post before and after pics ... and I will even tell you how much I weighed.

(you can keep up with our motivation Twitter group by checking out our blog here ---> The Biggest Twatter) If you are trying to get back into working out, or if you are so incredibly in shape that you can offer advise, join us on Twitter or stop in the blog and say hello!!

In Other News: It has only taken seven and a half years, but Bart will FINALLY let Katie pet him without entirely freaking out. As you can see, he still does not enjoy it.

312 It Ain't Baby Fat, Baby

A couple of weeks ago Connor turned two. It was a very sad day for me. My baby is growing up. He is becoming more independent. He is starting to tell us NO on a regular basis. He has even started making moves toward potty training. These are not the reasons that made me the most sad. That reason was this ...

I CAN NO LONGER USE THE "I JUST HAD A BABY" EXCUSE

That chapter of my life is probably closed. I can't point at my little man and blame him for my extra cushioning. At some point it became my fault that I had not dropped the weight when he was born. To be honest, I do blame the fact he was born in early October. I had to eat my way through Halloween, Thanksgiving and Chistmas right after he was born. Fun-size candy bars and Chex Mix sapped my will to resist. And it really wasn't so bad until I was looking through old pics that were posted on facebook... GASP! What in the heck did I do to myself??!! I used to be an athlete! Oh the shame .. almost made me grab an ice cream sandwich, but instead I decided that it is time to hit the track behind the house. I did great ... for a few days. And then ... And then the track looked like this, for almost a week. I really miss that 18 year old body, but not enough to go slogging through that huge puddle.

And then it cleared up, and Monday was GLORIOUS! I went to lunch with Katie and then Connor and I walked/jogged the track. Connor wishes I ran more, but he made it through unscathed. He even fell asleep in the stroller, so I decided to head in. How gorgeous is this? This is the branch that hangs over the path that I almost smack my head on every lap.

I could duck, or snap it off, or any multitude of things, but I just leave it there, dangling into the path. Oh well, makes it a bit easier to count laps, as long as you don't poke out an eye.

I did take a before pic, just in case I ever need it. But really, the only before pic that matters is this one ... Ahhh, high school. How I wish I had realized back then how hot I was ... I thought I was fat. And now I scoff at that idea. One day I hope to be as fat as I was in this pic!

So, feel free to ask how the workouts are going ... it may prod me in the right direction. Right now I am realizing that I definitely do not have those 18 year old knees ... OUCH!

Now to adopt a new mantra ... (an oldie but a goodie) No Pain, No Gain!

Wish me luck (I NEED IT)!

We are trying to get together a little motivational group on Twitter. If you are needing a little push, please find me on there @cjaxon . If you are trying to sell something, no thanks. We are wanting to get healthy the old fashioned way, with sweat and determination.

311 Halloween

The boys at Gold Strike decided to theme it up this Halloween, so they dressed as characters from Blazing Saddles. Chip was Gov. Le Petomane, and we did a bit of scrambling to get his outfit together. Chip actually found the jacket himself for $4 at the thrift store (I am pretty proud of that), but I had to come up with a way to get the GOV on the back, and the jacket had to be altered. And, of course, the boxers had to be sewn closed ;) Jeff is Gabby Johnson. I love that he made his vest out of the lining of a women's jacket he found at the thrift store. Now THAT is ingenuity!! Like Chip's sock garters?Those are some stylin' sheet clips. And the black socks just really set off those Irish white legs.
And my Punk Fairy! This outfit is so very Katie! She has a style that is all her own, and an impish personality to pull it off. And my Viking Warrior. Ready to pillage and plunder! (I know, there are more pics of Connor, but only because he was home while Katie went to Trunk-or-Treat with her girlfriends)And the actual Trick-orTreating... Kaitlyn's Dad hooks up the trailer and gets some bales of hay and we are off! Mommy gets a workout climbing in and out, and the kids get to ride between houses. Perfect arrangement ... well, except for that "dark" thing that makes it so hard to get a decent picture. Katie was excited about taking her brother to the doors, until we were there and she realized that he was slowing her down. She did take him to his first door (you can barely see his little fur spats) Miss Stacy has a bunch of dogs, and Connor would have been perfectly happy to have gone inside to play.My fairy needed to fly!! Connor caught on pretty quickly though, and he became a master of dragging his heavy bag of candy to the door. He refused to let me help him most of the time, and although he didn't say "trick or Treat!" he could certainly open up his little bag and grin! He even charmed Elvis out of a stuffed little elephant.

It was another successful Halloween night. We are overflowing with candy, and hopefully we can dole it out slowly. Connor has already had to have it taken away.

And, the girls have picked out their costumes for next year ... VAMPIRES! I think I can get into dressing up for that one :) ... now where did I put my Elvira costume???

310 SOOC (oops) Sunday

When Mom was out in September she bought a gorgeous begonia, and we decided to propogate a sprig or two just so Katie could watch. I think it is PAST time to transfer this little beauty to some dirt.
SOOC (straight out of Camera) Saturday (or thankfully Sunday) is hosted by Melody at Slurping Life. Melody is currently in the grips of family matters. Struggling to find the strength to deal with recent news. One of her sons was released from his doctor, not because he was "better" but because they felt they could no longer help. If you have any history in dealing with bipolar disorder or any mental disorders and wish to offer her words of encouragement I hope you will stop by her blog. I know she would appreciate your thoughts and prayers.