317 First Rule of Parenthood

This has been the week of Mean Mommy. No matter what I do, the kids end up screaming and crying ... and I end up not caring. Connor threw a fit because I closed the garage door. Katie cried for an hour because we had to throw away all her streptococcus filled make-up (even though we promised to replace it when she gets the all clear). Connor ran after me with his tiny hand raised, face turning red because I wouldn't let him stand on a chair and destroy the kitchen. Katie threw a fit because I made her go to bed ON TIME. My favorite though was when Katie cocked her hip, bobbled her head at me and tried to tell me that she could pick out whatever makeup she wanted and we couldn't tell her no.

Wait?!

WHAT??!!!

FIRST RULE OF PARENTHOOD, if the kid says they get to tell you what to do you immediately have to prove them wrong.

....And I did! I pulled out all the stops. I used the "You are the child and I am the parent" routine. It works like a charm to induce tears and low-pitched grumblings. I can only be positive I heard the words "meanie" and "not fair" but I am sure she maligned me quite well. If that girl has one thing it is teen angst. I don't know what we will do when she actually goes through puberty.

I know, it is all our fault. We have spoiled her rotten. When you spend every second of the day worried that something could go wrong and you could lose your child you tend to spoil. For the first 5 years of Katie's life we did that. I would put her to bed, and I would freak out if she cried ... maybe her blood sugar is spiking/dipping! What?! Who knows, it could have been anything! Or even worse, I would be scared shitless when she did NOT cry! I can't tell you how many times I climbed those stairs, mentally preparing myself to find her not breathing. And when she was a baby, we checked her blood sugar every two hours, so that was A LOT of trips up the stairs. We logged each morsel of food she put in her mouth. I timed breastfeeding sessions. When her sugar dipped we would force feed her juices and fruits and candy. And as she grew it didn't get much easier. She was more active. She would run around like a wild thing and burn sugar like nobody's business! And then, a miracle! A new form of diabetes was discovered, and we had her checked. And we had our answer to why her sugars were so hard to control. She was still producing insulin!! Her diagnosis changed our lives in many ways. Her blood sugar has been spectacular! She still has some highs and lows, but they are not as severe. Letting her out of my sight is not the terrifying experience it once was. I almost never climb the stairs in fear ...

BUT! It is hard to break the habit of trying to fulfill her every whim. Trying to do everything we can to make her happy. And throw on top of that, the addition of a little brother. A lot of the time we are trying to make sure she does not feel jealous. In no way do we ever want her to feel she comes in second ... but we need to also teach her that doesn't mean she comes first.

We have been lucky. We have a boy and a girl. We can qualify statements. I can say "You are the cutest GIRL ever!" or "Connor is the sweetest baby BOY ever!" and for now that works. I know it won't always, but I am holding onto it while I can. If it will earn me one less Mean Mommy point then I will qualify every statement I make for the rest of my life. If I fail at everything else in this life then I will know that the one thing I did the very best was to be a Mommy to Katie and Connor.

.... at least if I let Katie pick out the makeup she wants ....