I never get on the computer anymore... (especially since my laptop decided to die on me) and honestly, I just avoid this page altogether most of the time because it makes me feel guilty. It is a reminder of all the things I have just let slip. Also, I have to come up to what was once my "craft cave" to use the computer, and I get sad just looking around at all the art and craft stuff that I haven't touched in eons.
I did want to just throw something up here to prove I am still around. I can't believe this page still gets hits every now and again that are not from my mother using the bookmarked pages on the side. I also read down all the links I have posted of other blogs, and it is sad how many of them are just as inactive as mine has become.
I want to blog more... I want to share what is going on. I want to brag on myself for starting to run... and for my husband who has taken off after me. We did our first 5K in March, and I did another in April. I am hoping to get one in for the month of May, but I have been slacking. There is a Memphis race series that I want to do, but I need to get signed up by Wednesday. I just don't have $80 for the four races laying around... even though that is an amazing deal for four races. I am hoping it all falls together.
The first race is Zoom Thru The Zoo and it is actually a four mile run, and I have really let myself down with running lately. I twisted my knee. The weather has been rainy. The weather has been hot. I ate too much. I ate too little. I have used every excuse. The truth is that with our schedules it is a bit hard to fit in a run time. The kids are still too young to leave at home even for a thirty minute jog, so we try to work them in when they are at school or both of us are home.
It also does not help my motivation that the number on the scale is holding steady. You see all of these amazing stories of weight loss, but I am not one of them. I know my body has changed for the better. How could it not when at the beginning of the year I couldn't run a full minute without dying?! My head knows that muscle weighs more than fat and blah blah blah ... but my heart wants that number to fall. And I want my pace to pick up out on the road. As long as I am carrying 50 pounds of extra weight that just won't be happening. So, it is time to buckle down and figure out what needs to change. I do not eat badly.... at least not as bad as I used to do. I am not a health nut. I don't subscribe to any particular diet plan. I try to make healthy choices, shop the outside of the grocery store. I don't want to have to turn to a doctor to help take that weight off. I want to do it myself. I want to know I can be in control of my body.
And I am rambling... of course.
Anyways... I am still here. And with any luck I will be around more often. Just need to do things worth blogging about.
Lost cause
7 months ago
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