327 New Years Resolutions

1. No Procrastinating ....

Crap!! I already screwed that one up, eh?! Okay, so that isn't actually on the list of Resolutions I wrote... because, lets be honest here (and it is my blog, so I get to be honest) I am going to be late 87.35% of the time. I don't mean to be, but I have this horrible habit of putting other people first. Or maybe it is just a horrible habit of coddling those around me. I can't let go and let people do things for themselves. And I really have GOT to learn to do that. Katie is 7, surely she can dress herself .... I have seen her do it. But the problem is that it might take her an hour to put on clothes. I don't have that kind of time ... or PATIENCE! She is now able to check her own blood sugar flawlessly. Not that she can properly interpret the readings or get her own pills.

So, I wanted to make my New Years Resolutions something that were

(1) achievable

(2) not close-ended

(3) something that might make an actual difference in my life.

And because I was sitting at my desk I wrote them up on the file folder that I use as a blotter (bought a box of legal sized file folders, and slap one down, write all over it, and when it is done I slide it away. works awesome!)

DRUMROLL PLEASE .... My 2010 New Years Resolutions ....

And then, because I was all gung ho about my resolutions, on Friday I made this ... Katie goes back to school tomorrow, so I will be getting back onto that workout kick! But believe me, all the "healthy" changes are not going to be centered around diet and exercise. I have changes that need to be made to make me MENTALLY healthier (no, I am not crazy ... thank you very much) I have some (forgive the use of this phrase) soul searching to do. I need to decide who I want to be when I grow up. I need to adopt a "I am woman hear me roar" mentality in many ways. I have become subdued and complacent when I shouldn't be. I have allowed myself to think the opposite of that old SNL skit .... "I'm (NOT) good enough, I'm (NOT) smart enough, and gosh darn it people do (NOT) like me" And I don't know how I got to that point. I really don't. Admitting it here is a first ... and it is a big step. I can't take a compliment. And that is putting a damper on things. I take silly joking comments to heart sometimes. I epitomize the Carlie Simon song because I totally think everything negative is about me. So, you have my permission to smack me on the back of the head if you see me acting like this. Well, maybe not until the Spring ... right now it might make me cry and no one wants to see the big girl cry. (no, I am not trying to get you to tell me I am not fat ... I meant tall)

One day I will grow up ... it is about time I became the person I want to be.

Anyone else have their Resolutions? their plans? their goals? Comment, link! Please!! ...and apparently, some people have trouble commenting on my blog. I have no idea what is going on. One friend said it eats her first post, but it will take her second try.