465 Don't Look If You Don't Want to Find...

The other day I went looking for a particular skirt in my daughter's room. It wasn't hanging in the closet, nor was it on the floor (and considering all the shit that was on the floor, that was impressive)... It wasn't in her drawers or in the dirty clothes hamper. So, I looked in the next logical place, under the bed... And that, my friends, is where I lost my mind.

A week or so ago, my husband told her to clean her room if she wanted something. I don't remember the reward, but I do remember him checking her room and telling her she had done a good job. She received her reward and promptly didn't pick up another thing in her room. So, when I looked in the closet and then under the bed, I discovered exactly HOW she had cleaned her room.

There were boxes of toys and art supplies I had separated just shoved in the closet and dumped over...

There was a trash bag shoved under her bed that contained not one bit of trash. It did contain clothes, books, a boxed set of Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Season 1, and her brother's V-Reader among other things.

There were NUMEROUS empty juice pouches and bottles. Crumbled bits of Oreo. An empty bottle of CAPERS.

She's nine. I understand she will take the easy way out everytime (who can blame her?)...but this crossed the line. She has been asking for us to take her to the Mid-South Fair, not a chance in Hell. She has been asking for various and sundry things...as if she has room for a single other thing in her room.

I am taking this one. I am not going to punish myself by punishing her and making her help me. I know. I know. I am losing a chance to really teach a lesson, but let's be honest...she wouldn't have learned a damn thing. Two days later she would forget it anyway.

But when I reach the bottom of the pile of shit and Polly Pockets and stuffed animals and art supplies and beads and dolls and trash...THEN the lesson begins. Poor girl will be facing a whole new world where she is responsible for maintaining her own room. Many groundings and punishments are sure to follow. Pray for me.

By the way, if you hear maniacal laughter it is just from the creators of Polly Pockets and Silly Bandz as they swim in the money they made off of us.