229 Happy (belated) Mother's Day!

As usual, I am chiming in late. I would have written yesterday, but I was too busy spending time with the family and getting a few things accomplished. After Chip brought back the donuts for breakfast (YUM) he asked me what I wanted to do for the day. I looked at the humongous tv, still sitting on the coffee table, and I knew exactly what I wanted to accomplish. GET THAT DARN BEHEMOTH OF A TELEVISION ON THE WALL!! We bought the mount months ago, but Chip has been waivering back and forth on exactly how he wanted to run the connections. We bought the "entertainment center" (an IKEA bookshelf turned on its side) in March when we were in Atlanta, and it was still in its boxes in the garage. Of course he said "I was planning on doing that today anyway" ... which is what he says ANYTIME I say we should get something done... or when I decide to do something while he is at work he will say "I was going to do that tomorrow!" But that is beside the point :) Well, we did it! The tv is on the wall and Mama is happy. It is however INSANELY scary to see that big ol' tv hanging out into the room. The mount has a tilt and rotate feature so you can minimize glare and point it where you want it to go. There are 8 huge bolts holding it into the wall. I know it is sturdy and safe, but it still looks scary to me.

I was hoping we would be able to get started on painting the upstairs bathroom, but that was aiming TOO high for Mother's Day. However, Chip did buy me spackle, so we are getting closer. Just have to let it dry and get it sanded and I am in business! We need to knock out all those little home improvement projects that we have already bought supplies for. We are bad about that. We buy the stuff then run out of steam. I am about to clear our paint reserves and get this house going. I am going to make it my house ... MY house! I have been just as bad about waivering. Waiting for Chip to pitch in. If I want the walls painted we all know I am the one that will be painting them. I did want him to help me move furniture, but we know I can do that, too.

Enough of the practicalities of Mother's Day 2009. Now I will wax emotional about being a Mom (and being a daughter). Almost 7 years ago (very very close, and I am very very sad/happy to see my little girl getting older) I became a Mom for the first time. Well, that is not entirely true. We had been pregnant before, but we did not make it all the way. I still think of them as "my babies", so I guess I was a Mommy well before this day.

-- and on a side note, to all those Mommies without Babies, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! Just because you do not have them to hold in your arms, does not mean that you do not hold them in your heart. --

But, as I was saying, seven years ago I was about to become a Mom. We were right at the finish line. Katie was stomping and kicking me to pieces. We were all packed and ready to go. I knew that my life was about to change, but until I held her I did not know exactly how much. The amount of love that a mother has for her child is immeasurable. You hear that, and you think "yeah yeah, love" BUT, OH MY GOODNESS! Seriously, massive amounts of LOVE! Throw yourself in front of a bullet, feel every tiny hurt, wish away every tear and every slight kind of love! And it GROWS! It gets stronger and stronger every day. As you watch their personalities develop. As you watch them discover the world you have created around them - and then the scary real world they have to discover on their own.

And then, you add to your family. I was actually a little bit worried when I found out I was pregnant again. I wasn't worried about how we would provide for another mouth, or whether it was a boy or a girl, or what we would name it. I was worried that it was not possible to love another human being the way that I love Katie. That there really would not be enough love to go around. We ended up losing that baby, too. Katie will still talk about the "baby that died in my stomach" even though she was only three when it happened. And I was wrong, because I did love that baby every bit as much as I love my Katie. When we found out we were pregnant with Connor I worried again, but once again I was wrong. That boy gets every bit as much love as Katie, and possibly more because he has Katie to adore him. Of course, that is only fair since he thinks Katie is the coolest thing ever.

You always hear people say that being a Mom is the best job in the world. You know why they say it? Because it is completely true! They are a constant source of joy and aggravation. They can make you laugh one minute and cry the next. They look up to you as a HERO and an Ogre! You get to create life, and if you are lucky, you get to watch that life grow and become a mother or father of their own little ones. And then, they will finally understand just how much they are loved. I know that I did not truly understand how much I was loved until I held my Katie in my arms. It was an "AH-HA!" moment. It was the moment that I really really wished to be like my own mother.

I love you Mommy!! Happy Mother's Day!

Thanks for always being my shoulder to cry on and my shoulder to lean on.My Grandma holding my Mom